The importance of good beginnings and good endings
When you join an organisation, it’s really important that you have what we call a good beginning.
This makes you feel that you’re welcome and that you actually have a place. In practical and obvious ways, the organisation makes space for you to come and join it. The reason this is important is so that you can get to work quickly. If you don’t have a good joining, you don’t know where you fit, and how you belong. You’ve got to spend a lot of time and energy working all of that out.
However, if the individuals in the system make you feel welcome and make space for you, this means that you have a good sense of belonging right from the start. We might even notice this in family dynamics or relationships, where, if we don’t have a good beginning, we can have difficulties for quite some time in the relationship until we work things out or not.
The other part of the equation is a good ending.
A good ending allows you to feel free to go when you leave. You feel complete, that you’ve done everything that you had to do in the organisation, that it’s respected and honoured, and you feel appreciated. That leaves you free to go to the next thing without any kind of lingering ties. The other thing that’s really important about that is that the role itself is left clean for the next person. When you step into a role where there has not been a good beginning and good ending, the role is tainted, often with dysfunctional elements that you will need to manage. You won’t necessarily be conscious of them, but there will be dynamics at play that you don’t understand or that don’t make sense. Invariably, if there’s been a bad ending, only part of the story is told, not the whole story. That’s normal human behaviour – when something unpleasant happens people don’t want to talk about it. However, we need to get good at talking about difficult or unpleasant things in a way that dignifies them. It doesn’t need to legitimise them, but it dignifies them. Systemically, sometimes people can come in, be disruptive, and disappear. It is common to be judgmental about the disruption, but the disruption may have been really helpful to the system in an unexpected way. So they actually provided a service, albeit in a strange way.
Another consideration is the timing of someone leaving. What can happen with somebody who comes into an organisation and makes a great contribution is that you really, really love them, and you don’t want them to go. They’ve been so wonderful, so sometimes we then try and find artificial roles for them to fulfil. It’s like we’re hanging onto them past their natural, organic point of closure with their contribution to the organisation. This creates disturbances in the system – for the individual and other people – because you’ve now got someone in the system that doesn’t actually belong there anymore.
The other significant challenge is knowing when it’s time to go. I have faced this myself; I became aware that some aspects of my role were no longer full of joy, energy and fulfilment. Initially, I had experienced some of those aspects as either inviting and energising or others effectively inconsequential. That changed. Those things had become frustrating or tedious. The balance between what was energy-giving and revitalising had changed; an increasing number of things were becoming energy-draining. I was getting irritated by people whom I previously enjoyed working with; they hadn’t changed, I had. When I paused to reflect, it became clear that my continued presence would inhibit the growth and development of the people I had invested in, thereby hindering their ability to grow. I became more interested in seeing where they would take it from here. I found it more exciting and inspiring to think about that than anything else. I realised I had outgrown my place and needed new challenges, not more of the same. It was becoming uncomfortable to stay. My focus shifted to how to hand things over in the best possible way, ensuring everyone flourishes. Creating a good runway for those taking over, ensuring I had transferred everything I had that would support them, so it became an uplift for them. Thinking about how to honour my experience in this role, what I had gained, what I was taking with me and what I was leaving behind as a legacy. I could see the impact of my contribution and realise its potential ripple effects. That nourished me.
When you observe a bad leaving, notice the impact it has on the people who leave, those who observe it and those who stay. It sets up all sorts of difficulties for the next person in the role, much of which they will have little knowledge of. A bad leaving can result in feelings of fear, anxiety, dread, injustice – not a good state for someone to go looking for their next role. Those who observe this can often feel guilty or ashamed about what has happened and can become preoccupied with it or at least contracted, giving less to the situation than they otherwise would. Survivor’s guilt is a real thing that has real consequences in terms of people’s engagement and commitment going forward. It can take some time before they overcome the effects. A new person may struggle to engage others while they are processing these effects. It makes their job harder; significant momentum and opportunities can be lost. This is system dynamics at play
Good beginnings, good endings, knowing when to leave and how to leave in a fashion that is dignified are all critical elements to enable ongoing healthy system dynamics in organisations.
Sarah Cornally was sought out by C-suite executives to provide consulting services in the area of leadership, culture change and issue resolution as a result of her reputation in resolving complex and challenging issues in the field of Occupational Rehabilitation and Occupational Health & Safety.
For over 30 years she has consulted to and advised leaders in many of the top 100 companies, federal and state organisations in Australia including AMP, Allens, APRA, AstraZeneca, CBA, the Dept of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, Coca Cola Amatil, King & Wood Mallesons, KPMG, Macquarie Bank, Microsoft, NSW Department of Human Services, PWC, NAB, Woolworths and multinationals in the Asia Pacific region.
She is best known for her work with executive teams, senior leaders and boards creating the adaptive leadership environment that enables organisations to perform and the people to thrive.
